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Friend wont talk to me

It can be maddening when a friend suddenly cuts you off and stops talking to you, especially with no explanation. You try to figure out why, but you might never know. It can leave you confused on what to do next.

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In eighth grade, Courtney and Melanie, my best friends, just stopped talking to me. They never told me why. For most of the school year I wandered around in a daze. I wondered what I'd done wrong, how I could fix it, and what about me was so worthy of hate. I chalked that experience up to the terror that is middle school.

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What do you think? If you want to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to connect with someone, you can take our 1-minute quiz. Share as much about yourself as friend wont talk to me other person shares about themselves.

Also, when you share personal details about yourself, the other person will start becoming more interested and invested in you as a person. You know, if someone says they bought a lottery ticket — you get curious to know if they won or not. By making them aware of it, you can change the entire dynamics of your friendship. Ask yourself these questions to prepare before talking about it with your friend:. I enjoy hanging out with you, but sometimes I have a hard time getting a chance to talk during our conversations.

I care about you as my friend and enjoy hearing about your life, but I need more space to talk about my life as well. It can help to acknowledge the positive parts of your friendship. It also reminds you both why the relationship is worth saving. Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals.

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Learn how YOU can be better at connecting and turning people into close friends. This is different from accusing your friend about what they think and feel which will make them defensive and upset. One-sided relationships are not true friendships. In these cases, I recommend starting to spend less time with that person and focusing more on others. Let them know how serious of a problem their unwillingness to share the conversation is. Hopefully, this will motivate them to make a change. This is difficult and uncomfortable, but it may be necessary to cut away the toxicity from your life.

Ask yourself this: Do they really care about you and your feelings?

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Or, do they only care about themselves and use you to vent about their problems? If they actually care about you, they might be unaware they talk too much and act so self-centered.

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In that case, your friendship may be worth saving. True friendship is built on mutual respect and care for each other. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond - in less than an hour. If a lot of these s match your relationship, it might not be worth trying to save this relationship. I have quite a bit of my own experience in this area.

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The majority of the people in those one-sided relationships were using me for something: a ride, money, free therapy, or a place to stay. If you are always pouring into other people and never being poured into yourself, eventually your cup will run dry. In other words, you only have so much to give if you never get anything back. A healthy friendship is supposed to give you more energy, not less. The difficulty is that my friends just want to talk about themselves.

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I am afraid that if I start talking about myself, these friends would find me whiny and stop being friends with me! Friend wont talk to me is a common trap when you start becoming a better listener: Most people love to talk about themselves and their problems to a good listener. People will want to talk to you for hours, about themselves … And you probably keep it going by asking good follow-up questions, reflecting on what they said, and making them feel heard.

But in the heat of the moment, you might ignore what you think is interesting and focus on what you notice that they like talking about. And then you start feeling trapped always being the listener. What we really want is a balanced relationship where we can talk about things we BOTH find interesting, not what just one of us finds interesting. When it comes to new relationships, make sure to establish a more balanced relationship from the start.

To do this, first focus on finding commonalities. By talking about mutual interests, you both get to talk about topics you enjoy. Disclaimer: Some people believe they are the experts on every topic and interest and continue to monopolize the discussion anyway. When a relationship is in its early stages, make an effort to bond with the other person by sharing about your own life in addition to listening to them talk about theirs. However, true friendships will provide you with the time and safe space you need to share the details of your life. As a good friend, you will do the same for your friends by listening to details about their hobbies and interests that may not also friend wont talk to me your hobbies and interests.

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I think she at least enjoys my passion and seeing how happy I am about it. I still like seeing what she likes and I love seeing her happy. Part of any healthy friendship or another type of relationship is learning how to balance your conversations between those that are mutually interesting and those that are specific to only one of you. In addition, when talking about yourself do it once per conversation and then be done talking about it unless they ask you more about it.

David told me about a mindset that simplifies the idea of mutual interests. We can talk about it for hours sometimes.

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So I talk more about that with him. And so it goes. The point is that I rarely talk about something that ONLY interests me, like my daily affairs or a special interest.

When a friend stops talking to you, without any reason, it hurts more than any other kind of breakup. this is why.

That way I can keep a balanced and rewarding conversation where we both talk about as much. Learning to have balanced conversations can help you avoid sounding whiny whenever you talk about yourself to your friends. According to one study on modern friendships, the characteristics of true friendship are an important part of our mental and emotional support system as we develop throughout our lives.

In a real friendship, abruptly changing the things you do or the way you act can be awkward. Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. Follow on Twitter or. I read the interesting article as well as your comments.

We meet various people in life; some good, some bad. I had gone to no troubles at all by simply telling these negative folks to seek therapy. Covid19 changed most of us too. We can learn to interject. friend wont talk to me

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I know I tend to interject with a thought. I had more apologies. I think there is ways to get your friend to start realizing their habits are taking tolls not only on you but them. I would recommend your friends find a suitable hobby. I wonder if these folks are simply lonely?! Get a pet or pets. Get a DIET that suits you. Exercise MORE and think positives. Yes the truth hurts but better than the malicious gossip.

Try positives and bring the Good News to others as I do. Works for me! I went on and friend wont talk to me to another close friend, and notice a similar pattern was forming. So I came back to this post, looking for a way to not fall into that horrible situation again. I came back with what I thought is the best solution, but the voice inside my head habitually thought of ways I could ask them about themselves more. Heck, I hate this habit.

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Definitely will try to terminate it. One thing no one mentioned is how these people who talk non-stop handle it when you try distancing yourself. I just had a friend do this to me yesterday. So much for her interest in me. We both have dogs and friend wont talk to me for walks about 3 times a week. A few months ago she separated from her husband and used me and a of other people as a dump all for all her issues. We walked our dogs together more often and even took up a dance class together, spending far more time together than usual.

I gave her a lot of my time because I was sensitive to her situation and I thought we may have crossed over into an actual friendship. Then suddenly she got back together with her husband and immediately stopped contacting me even though I literally live across the street.

Understanding why they won’t open up

Even the dog walks stopped. I even told her once that she was a terrible listener and never asked me anything about myself. She said she would try and did so for about a week. Then, she went back to talking only about herself.

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